i've always been one of the goof's here at medical mingle.  i'm setting that hat aside for a moment, to give thanks to some special things in my life this year...

i'm thankful for...

..the love i have for my wife, and the love she has for me.

..all of my beautiful children.  this year, we welcomed number 4 into the world.  phbtpbhtpbthbtttt!! to ya, kid.

..the fact that my aunt, pamela, lived long enough to see her fourth grandchild.  my side of the family is a bit dysfunctional, so my 2 aunts had stepped in as grandparrents.  jonah was born in june.  begining of august, pam was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  on august 24th, she passed away.  still think about you, pam.  miss you bunches.  take care of dad and grandpa, and make sure they don't get into too much trouble together. ;)

..the family i have married into.  coming from that rough family into a family of nothing but love really means something.  i'm glad i have it.

..the roof over our heads, and the work that pays to keep it there.  this really isn't the best economy we've had.  i'm greatful that i can work my 7 days a week to pull in enough money to support the family, and keep it running.  granted, it doesn't always run smoothly, and we're in hard times, but we're getting by.  there are people out there who have lost everything, due to fires, floods, economy, and anything else.

..the group of friends i have on the internet.  ya'll really are a bunch of knuckel-heads.  ;P

..the fact that my cancer has not come back.  i need to be there for my family.  i couldn't do it over again.  i don't want to do it again.  i pray i never have to.

there's always more to be thankful for.  i just don't have the time or the energy right now to say it.  but i'll leave you with this one thought, instead of killing kittens

"every day is a good day."

if you woke up without a tube in your chest, it's a good day. 

if you woke up without a tube in your throat, it's a good day. 

if you woke up and were able to see and feel the sunlight on your face, it's a good day.

if you woke up without a foley catheter, it's a good day.

if you woke up without stiches, it's a good day.

if you simply woke up, it's a good day. 

if you didn't wake up, you'd be in heaven with the lord, and therefore, it's still a good day.

====================================================

love ya, guys

papa

i dunno, maybe it's my medical background... i'm just different....

=================================

If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

What do chickens think we taste like?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do you call a male ladybug?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and
drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes and not parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?

Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks
on the door?

Why is a bra singular and panties plural?

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime,what does a
freedom fighter fight?

If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?

If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on,
what happens?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment,
but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

========================================

top ten things not to say to a police officer after being pulled over...

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

9. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

10. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

================================================

the truth behind puff the "magic" dragon

Puff, the magic dragon (used to date her, wasn't that magical)
Lived by the sea (actually it was a condo in miami. nice place)
And frolicked in the autumn mist (and boy did we frolick)
In a land called Honah Lee (Home Owners Association fees were astronomical)

Little Jackie Paper (damn little nympho)
Loved that rascal Puff, (he was still paying child support to one of the care bears)
And brought him strings and sealing wax (yeah, puff was a little butch)
And other fancy stuff (nail clippers, breath mints, flowers, chain mail, anything he could get his hands on, really)

Together they would travel (while I WAS HARD AT WORK at Sizzler)
On a boat with billowed sail (oh yeah, i billowed his sail, all right)
Jackie kept a lookout perched (and held on tightly, evidently)
On Puff's gigantic tail (......... no coment)

Noble kings and princes (drug lords and dealers)
Would bow whene'er they came, (it was really withdrawl)
Pirate ships would lower their flag (and other things)
When Puff roared out his name (she was kinda bitchy, too)

A dragon lives forever (unfortunately)
But not so little boys (heh, heh, heh)
Painted wings and giant rings (yes, she was painting her nails when the damn fool proposed)
Make way for other toys (which is when she kicked me out of the condo)

One grey night it happened, (ok, so i had a little bit too much to drink)
Jackie Paper came no more (he did need a little ketchup and basil)
And Puff that mighty dragon, (boy was she pissed)
He ceased his fealess roar. (didn't hear from her for about a week)

His head was bent in sorrow, (i didn't care, i called up barbie and her friends and we climbed into her pink SUV and went to the beach)
Green scales fell like ain, (largest massacre on the beach ever recorded)
Puff no longer went to play (no, she started stripping at "good guys")
Along the cherry lane. (cherry was her stage name)

Without his life-long friend, (we never really talked much after that)
Puff could not be brave, (the "bratz" i guess intimidated her)
So Puff that mighty dragon (i think she now works at the DMV)
Sadly slipped into his cave. (yes, i got the condo)


so now you know. and knowing is half the battle. the other half is lunch.

================================

The following is an actual question given on University of IOWA chemistry mid term. The answer as so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." Taking into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

The student received the only "A" given.

=================================

just remember, don't let me kill the kittens....

papa

ok, so if somebody has noticed, i've changed my avatar. 

..... ok, so who would notice.... anyway

i've been busy working on my website http://sites.google.com/site/delusionalradiology.com , trying to update it to something fresh and new.  i'm trying to make it geared more towards the new radiology technologist, and to give acurate information about the radiology field.  so yeah, that's where i've been.

onto the reason for the avatar change.  i've also started writing my second book:

it's kind of a continuation from my first book, however the first book was more of one of those books where it's a lot of information that you need to know, but doesn't really tell you how to do stuff.  this is the one that tells you how to do stuff.

what i'm doing is taking all the protocols i have written over the past year and a half, and almost step - by - step, explaining how to perform the scan.  the first book was described as an "idiot's guide to CT".  well, this one would be closer to that.

anywhoo, i don't have much time right now, i've got some patient's to scan today. 

don't let me kill the kittens.

papa

p.s., if any radiology techs are interested in cross training into CT, check out my website at http://sites.google.com/site/delusionalradiology .  you can get the first book on the download page.  f-r-e-e   o-f   c-h-a-r-g-e (of course)

ok, so i've got something on my mind.....

i took this job at the imaging center thinking it'd be a nice change of pace.  ever since i started radiology, i've been in hospitals, and relatively fast paced hospitals.  that's what i'm used to, and evidently that's what i need.  (wife calls me an "adrenaline junky")

i don't need the blood and guts of a busy hospital.  i don't need the stress or pressure of having 4 patients scheduled at 7:00 in the morning for 2 scanners.  i don't need the angio guys coming over to hog my scanner to biopsy some s*** or drain whatever.  but i'm losing my skills.

before this place, i worked at georgetown university hospital.  2 ct scanners, and they really weren't that up to date technology wise (georgetown had a bunch of financial issues in the past that they have been trying to compensate for), and the layout of the department and staff wasn't the best in the world, but the way we pumped out scans one after the other was almost like clockwork.  we were a team.  we were a family.  we got along with the other departments of the hospital like close friends.  we all took care of each other.

i'm finding now that i do miss the blood and guts.  nothing like the smell of an abscessed diverticuli first thing in the morning to get you going.  ok, maybe not.  not sure if i'm just reminising over past good times, or if i truly want to go back.

i've remained friends with the lead technologist.  before i left, a majority of the radiologists didn't want to see me go.  the head of body ct said that she'd do anything possible to get me to come back.  i may have that chance.

they're finally going from 2 scanners to 3 scanners, and they are up to date technologically.  they'll probabally start doing cardiac scans (which i've wanted to do for a while), and probabally more 3D stuff.  they were the ones who sent me to florida to train in 3D imaging.  i got a call from the lead tech saying that they'd be starting the construction in november, and probabally start hiring people in december.  i'm first on the list.

this may mean a little more money for me.  this will definately mean more stress in my work life.  this will mean a whole lot more travel time.  my imaging center, literally, is around the corner.  georgetown is about 25 miles away.  now granted, there's alternative methods of transportation, so i personally wouldn't have to drive that 25 miles, but that's 25 miles man....

that's 25 miles, but i'd be happy.  i took this job thinking that i'd be happier closer to home.  i'd get to sleep more, be home for lunches sometimes with the wife and kids, it'd be a set schedule of patients, and i'd be guarenteed to be out of the office by 5:00.  if everything sounds so nice, why am i not happy there.  why can't i be happy there.  why do i need to be "balls to the wall" busy in order to find satisfaction in my job?  why do i need to be dealing with the worst of the worst patients, dying from cancer or other malities in order for me to be happy?  why do i need to put myself into a situation where i'll get to know patients on a regular basis, and then never see them again because they've passed on?  am i tourtering myself?  am i trying to make myself depressed?

i dunno.  maybe somebody will comment here and help me out.  georgetown really was family to me.  from what i hear, they still are.  the docs can't wait to see me.  i still know a lot of people there that want me back.  i just don't know.

papa bear.

don't let me kill the kittens.  they taste like chicken....  matter of fact, lots of things taste like chicken.

I want to be one toke over the line sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line
I'm waitin' for the train that goes home sweet Mary
Hopin' that the train is on time
Sittin' downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line

papa

don't let me kill the kittens while wearing my 60's/70's sunglasses making a peace sign...